Life Skills

What are life skills and values?

Life skills, these are skills that you need to be effective, achieve goals and abstain from negative behaviour. They are so important, especially in the process of growing up.

Values, things you believe in and are willing to stand for. Therefore, use your life skills to live a life that reflects good values.

Question, What are your values? Are you thoughtful and considerate? Do you look on the bright side of life? Are you a joyous person? Are you the real you or do you pretend to be someone else? Are you honest and true to yourself and others? Do you persevere, persist and not get discouraged easily?

a) Skills of knowing and living with yourself

These are skills that help you to value yourself so that you can protect yourself from negative and risky behaviour like engaging in sex.

i. Self-awareness, knowing yourself. Who you are, your likes, dislikes, knowing we are all different.

ii. High self-esteem, you feel highly about yourself and know that you are worthy. It means knowing what you want and why and being able to take the steps to achieve it.

iii. Self-control, one's ability to manage their emotions, manners, thoughts and habits.

iv. Assertiveness, being able to express yourself confidently and respectfully.

v. Coping with emotions and stress, how you deal with situations day to day: speaking to someone, praying, singing, crying, playing games.

b) Skills of knowing and living with others

These skills help you understand that everyone is different, including the people you study with and live with at home. Learn to relate with different people effectively.

Making friends. Communicating with others. Showing empathy, putting yourself in other people's shoes. Resisting negative peer pressure. Negotiation. Resolving conflicts peacefully.

Negotiation involves the ability to compromise on issues without sacrificing what you believe in. For instance, within your peer group, you can negotiate a friendship without using alcohol. With your parents, you can negotiate to walk to your cousin's house as long as your brother escorts you.

c) Skills of making decisions, Helena's Story

"Helena is just starting secondary school and she is very excited. The walk to school is about two hours each way and she often walks with her friends from the same village. One day Helena is late leaving school and all her friends have left her because they went home earlier. She is walking quickly along the road because she must get to her house before dinner to help her mother. An older boy from her school, George, stops his motorbike to talk to her. She recognises him from school. He asks her if she wants a ride."

Q: Being Helena, what would you do? Or what should a girl in Helena's situation do to make the right decision?

Steps to a good decision

1. Stop and Think. Take a step back to stop and think about the situation and how it affects you and those around you.

2. Know the Facts. Understand what you know completely about the situation and decide if the information you have is enough for you to take action. For example, getting a ride from someone you don't know would not be a good decision simply because you do not know that person.

3. Consider the consequences of your Decision. Think about what will happen when you make the decision. What are the good and bad things that will come out of it? For example: if you decide to get a boy-lover, what will happen? If you decide to concentrate better in class and read your books more, what will happen? Some decisions will affect the rest of your life, if you have sex while still in school, you may get pregnant and never get an opportunity to complete school and achieve your dreams.

Decision-making skills include: critical and creative thinking, decisiveness, and problem solving.

Life is full of decisions. Usually there is not just one answer to every problem. Ask yourself: what if I do this? What if I do that? What will be the outcomes? Who can I talk to in order to help me make a good decision? Knowing who to ask for help shows that you have life skills.

When you need life skills most

You need life skills every day, but there are certain challenging times when you particularly need them, when you are home alone with your little siblings, when you lose a parent, when you miss a term at school, when other pupils tease you, or when someone tries to pressure you into a relationship.

Avoid using life skills to do wrong. A thief may think creatively about how to break into a house. A corrupt person may assertively ask for a bribe. Those people have life skills, but they are basing their lives on negative values.