Self-Esteem & Communication
Theme: Boosting my self-esteem for better communication.
To be able to recognise and value personal strengths and communicate effectively.
Self-esteem
Self-esteem means how you feel about yourself, your abilities, qualities and values as a person.
High self-esteem, feeling highly about yourself and knowing that you are worthy, e.g. acknowledging you have some negative qualities and still appreciating the good things about yourself.
Low self-esteem, negative thoughts about yourself and feeling unworthy, e.g. always saying bad things about yourself and barely noticing the good.
Exercise
1. Do you have a high self-esteem?
2. What are the things you like about yourself? (Both physical and emotional)
3. What don't you like about yourself and what can you do to improve?
Raising your self-esteem, practices
Focus on the parts of your body you like.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Keep a list of things you like about yourself.
Start an exercising program.
Eat healthy food.
Play sports as often as you can.
Don't smoke or drink alcohol.
Write down compliments you receive.
Straighten up, smile, and look straight ahead, you'll look and feel more confident.
Communication, gender dynamics exercise
How do boys communicate vs. how do girls communicate?
Do they speak differently to their friends? Do they communicate differently in class? Why do you think there is a difference?
Communication styles
Assertive, saying what you want with respect and confidence. Honest and direct, standing up for yourself, not letting others put you down, asking for what you want.
Passive, delivering a message without expressing your true feelings for fear of angering peers. Not standing up for yourself, letting others take advantage, keeping quiet when you want something.
Manipulative, passing on messages that exploit others' weaknesses or strengths to get what you want. Lying, tricking.
Aggressive, delivering a message without considering others' feelings. Being forceful, threatening or pushy; putting others down; bullying; fighting.
Consequences of each style
Aggressive response, fights; loss of friends; negatively stereotyped by teachers.
Assertive response, self-respect; feeling empowered; accomplishing your goals; respected by others.
Passive response, low self-esteem; loss of opportunities; stress-related health problems; being the victim of bullies.
Manipulative response, losing others' trust; reputation for being dishonest; causing emotional distress.
Activity, role play the four styles
1. Explain that the activity distinguishes between the four communication styles.
2. Divide the boys into groups of 5, one boy is the bully; the other four represent the different responses.
3. Each group makes 4 short skits, the bully plus each person showing their response.
4. Act it out to the whole class; ask the class which style they think was performed and get feedback.
5. Emphasise the importance of assertive behaviour and invite stories of when different styles worked (or did not) for the boys.
- Appreciate your body for what it can do, not how it looks. Love yourself first to build self-esteem.
- Communication can be assertive, aggressive, manipulative or passive.
- Boys need to support each other in being assertive.
- Boys are told girls are supposed to be submissive and passive, but girls need to be supported to challenge such stereotypes and stand up for themselves.