Meaningful Relationships & Peer Pressure

What is a meaningful relationship?

A meaningful relationship is one that holds personal significance, is healthy, caring, and long-lasting, a bond with someone who aids in our personal growth, offers support and encouragement, and is there for us in times of need.

The session covers: getting to know each other, peer pressure, and decision-making.

Getting to know each other, pair activity

1. Welcome the group and briefly introduce yourself.

2. Use a group formation exercise to divide the group into pairs.

3. Each pair takes 5 minutes for one boy to interview the other with these questions:

• Who are you? (Name, age, class and where you live)

• What do you like doing in your free time?

• Who is your role model? (Real, fiction, from a film, an artist, a historical character…)

• Why? Which qualities do you admire about your role model?

4. After 5 minutes call "change" and swap roles.

5. Gather the group. Each participant introduces his partner, starting with their role model and reasons, then personal details.

Peer pressure, definitions

Peer, someone in your age group.

Pressure, the feeling that you are being pushed towards making a choice that can either be good or bad.

Peer pressure, the feeling where someone in your age group is pushing you towards making a decision.

Spoken peer pressure, someone directly tells you to do something (e.g. friends telling you to escape from school to go to the bar for a dance).

Unspoken peer pressure, nothing is said, but seeing others do something makes you feel pressured to do the same (e.g. watching a celebrity on TV and wanting to dress and act like them).

Tricks peers use

Q: What peer pressure tricks have been used on you? Give examples.

The look, peers look at you in an undeserving way that makes you uncomfortable and forces you to change to what they expect.

The put-down, discouraging words that make you feel unworthy. Low self-esteem makes you easier to put down.

The example, pointing to someone who did what they are luring you to do ("wear Timberland shoes because Chameleon the singer wears them").

The reasoning, a convincing "reason" ("you need a girlfriend because it shows you are a man" or "read your books so you can excel").

Why do many boys give in?

Divide the class into two groups, A for positive peer pressure, B for negative, and discuss.

Poverty. Low self-esteem. Performance in class. The 'everyone is doing it' influence. Wanting to fit in with peers. Wanting to be liked. Wanting to excel in exams. Wanting to become popular.

Walking away from negative peer pressure

Allow participants to come up with their own solutions first, then supplement:

Think of yourself as a leader and act accordingly, the more you see yourself in a leadership role, the more comfortable you will feel asserting your own opinions and feelings.

Choose your friends wisely. If you choose friends who don't use drugs, dodge class, smoke, or lie to their parents, then you probably won't either.

Have at least one other peer or friend willing to say "no" too. Note: your "no" as an individual is valid.

Decision-making, three steps

Decisions made without consideration can lead to dropping out of school, stealing, using drugs and alcohol, fighting, getting girls pregnant.

Stop and think, take a step back to consider the situation and how it affects you and those around you.

Know the facts, understand what is possible and impossible. That is what we mean by making an "informed decision".

Consider the consequences, what will happen when you say yes to a negative influence? What will happen if you say no to a positive one?

Exercise, Busa and Kani

Busa learns from the village centre that collecting scrap metal earns money. Busa tells Kani they should try it so they can buy the Lionel Messi jerseys they want. Kani says they have no scrap to sell, but Busa says his brother owns a garage, they can sneak in at night and steal some scrap to sell for the jerseys. Kani is not sure this is right and must decide whether to agree with Busa's idea.

Q: What would you have done if you were Kani?